Thursday, 3 January 2013

Facetime etiquette - from Arthur C Clarke to modern manners





I love my iPad and I particularly love using my iPad’s FaceTime application.  The connection is so much personal than just speaking on the phone.

I recall showing it to my Dad last year when we had a long chat with my sister who lives abroad. He was blown away by the technology – not only could he speak to his daughter for free, but we could see her too – and her apartment – and her boyfriend. It was lovely and I could see he was alive to the possibilities that FaceTime could offer - enabling him to see and speak to his children as if they were in the same room.

So, Christmas arrived and with it, both of my parents acquired iPads. Then the fun started!

On Christmas day, I had a great chat with my Dad via FaceTime. Then another one. And another.

After the first one, I realised that I looked pretty terrible on screen and by the time the second call came in, my hair was up and I was wearing make-up. By the time of the third contact, I was clearing up after tea and had a serious debate as to whether I should answer at all. I did, and took a seat in the kitchen, with a glass of wine and the family cat on the table. The unexpected consequence of this was that I ended up waving the wine bottle at the iPad so that my Dad could read the label and comparing the sizes of our respective pet cats.

Over the following week, I had FaceTime conversations with my parents, my niece and my sister on their iPads pretty much every day and it was lovely to be able to do that. I even gave my sister-in-law a guided tour of our newly painted cellar, including the view down the spiral staircase. How amazing is that? But it also dawned on me that the rules for video chat are very different from when just using the phone.

The writer and scientist Arthur C Clarke, always way ahead of his time, invented the equivalent of FaceTime in his book, Imperial Earth (published in 1976). And take note: he also touched on FaceTime etiquette. In one scene, a character fails to switch on the visual option – preferring a voice-only conversation. Clarke's protagonist comments, “as a matter of common good manners, one never overrode the vision circuit, unless there was a very good excuse indeed… whatever the real reason, social protocol demanded some explanation. To say the viddy was out of order was to invite total disbelief, even on those rare occasions when it was true.”

Uh-o, this is the future, dear reader. You may as well get used to it: I spent the entire Christmas/New Year holiday far better dressed and made up than usual, on the basis that I would inevitably end up having a FaceTime conversation with someone I would prefer to only see me half decently turned out.

So, on reflection, here are my useful tips for a happy FaceTime experience:
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  • If you can, text to, or otherwise pre-arrange your FaceTime calls in advance. FaceTime angst when your call is not answered, or when you really don’t want to take that call, can then be avoided;
  • Keep still! Or at least, keep your iPad still: there is nothing worse than having to watch your caller whirling around – sea-sickness may ensue;
  • Position yourself or your iPad carefully. I could see up the nostrils of one of my relatives until I made a joke about it and the iPad was hastily re-positioned;
  • Be prepared! Or don’t be afraid to ask to return the call shortly – especially if you feel the need to put on your face before your caller sees you;
  • Beware of pulling faces. Nuns practise what is called ‘custody of the eyes’ – you cannot unsee what you have seen (so don’t look). Likewise, if you start rolling your eyes in exasperation, your caller can’t unsee that either; 
  •  You can't take FaceTime calls just anywhere: we all know people who text from the bathroom - or even take calls - not on your FaceTime you don't!
  • Have an exit strategy. There’s nothing more awkward that just looking at each other, following a long pause, then feebly muttering ‘bye.’
Who knows, FaceTime may improve our manners. In the meantime, don’t forget to tidy up and hide that pile of laundry behind your chair….



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