Practice what you preach with your children online

Do you sometimes sigh when you open up your Facebook account and see that again, one of your Friends With Children (FWC) has posted yet another message about how their lovely little darling has won a medal, got picked for the rugby A team or is looking particularly cute today in that sweet Halloween costume?  I thought so. Don’t get me wrong – in real life I love to chat with those same friends and share the latest trials and tribulations from our family lives, but this constant posting on their Facebook page is a form of boasting which has started to worry me.

I’m a responsible parent, and I am sure you are too. I’ve had a chat with my child about online safety: reminded him that if he can’t say anything nice online, he shouldn’t say anything at all, and reminded him that Google has a very long photographic memory.  The rule with my own Facebook and Twitter accounts is – would my family be upset if they saw this post? If they would, I think real hard before I press ‘post’ or ‘send.’ I remind my son that I keep tabs on his online life and he should bear in mind that if I’m unhappy about what he’s up to, I’ll be having an uncomfortable conversation with him soon enough.  I also remind him to guard his privacy: no Facebook friends unless he really knows and likes them; no giving his address or other contact details online; any worries, speak to me. So far, it’s working fine.

But then recently, I posted a set of family photos in a Facebook album. I tagged my son. I thought he’d be pleased. Then we had an uncomfortable conversation and I was the one who had to apologise.

There he was, jumping in the pool on holiday. Isn’t he clever at diving? Here he is, playing footie in his shorts with his Dad. What a lovely image! Except of course, that was only my point of view. My son was not so pleased that all his classmates could see those photos. He is at that age when he is very body conscious – how dare I expose him in this way?

So here’s the thing – as FWC, we need to practice what we preach to our children: ask their consent before we post information or photos of them on our Facebook pages and Twitter accounts and respect their privacy. Facebook and Google’s long memories extend to our comments about our children. 

When they grow up, you need to be able to look them in the eye and say you respected their privacy - and expect them to do the same for you.

That Friday feeling

It’s Friday and that means it’s dress-down day for me. As ever when I contemplate Fridays, I wonder whether, if I just go to work suited and booted as usual, claiming I’ve forgotten, I’ll feel any different about the whole thing.  Does casual dress encourage a more casual attitude to my work, or do I just feel more relaxed while sitting at my desk? I can't decide!

In the scheme of things, it’s not that important, but for many, ‘casual Friday’ causes a whole lot of angst. A survey by the fashion website very.co.uk found that 45 per cent of its working readers actually dress up on a Friday, rather than down, (and presumably go straight out on the town after work). Thirteen per cent of its respondents admitted that Friday was one of the most stressful days of the week: 15 per cent even called in sick to avoid the day completely.

That’s a bit extreme, although the dressing up issue recently led to Allen & Overy reminding its female trainee solicitors that the office was not the place for short skirts and high heels which made them look as if they were “going clubbing instead.”

I tend to have one or two standard outfits which have become my Friday uniform, so that I don’t have to worry about it – but with reports of people having ‘Friday wardrobes’ and escalating dress wars, I fear not everyone is quite so relaxed about the whole thing.

Perhaps we need to take advice from those who know. Elle Magazine says, “never underestimate the power of a good pair of jeans: pair a necklace with a jumper” – this advice matches my Friday plans. Alternatively, Dilbert’s take on this weekly event makes me smile:http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2002-09-12/